work

My relationship with my boss is very odd. It's a bizarre combination between a boyfriend and sister. She reacts to my action as if she were my boyfriend and treats me like her little sister.
The weirdest part is that i'm not sure if this is all in my head or if she is really interacting with me in this way.

One day, i had to tell her i couldn't make it to a meeting with her since i had a doctor's appointment and she acted as if i had just canceled dinner with her parents. she huffed and puffed and i could notice the sullen look on her face...so what did i do? i had to somehow make it up to her by buying her favorite bag of chips-the terra starch cocktail chips. i constantly feel as if i'm walking on eggshells with her. Her mood swings are epic, random and devastating.

and then there is her daily constant nuances that annoy the shit out of me, the way an older sister flexes her big sister muscles to crush the little ones.

I always arrive to the office before she creeps in, then-like clock work i get a phone call from her to "...please please please bring to my car my raincoat, it's raining and i forgot it in my office..." or "....please please please, bring me a coke...(insert treat here)

oh this resonates with my own oldest sister and her constant desire to take advantage of her little sisters!

oldish newish blueish you...

Ranting #1

-The hobo doll face standing on the street corner painting rainbow on the curb, waiting for her shiny prince armored with silly promises of eternal bonds that transcends mortality to fist her down down down into a dark place where her shine is blocked by his ego and motive. Lost in the moment of fulfilling a primitive self inflicted expectation, her light dims and dims dims dims.

- Within the hallow void inside our being there is an echoing resonance of vibrating waves. These wave produce something audible…the voices in our heads have reached a point of maximum capacity. Yet…there is no real form of communication. We haven’t learned to talk yet. We are but murmurs. If you collect enough murmurs, a mere hum can evolve to a puncturing piercing pitch.

If we collect our voices we can make ourselves heard.

spin cycle blues

in essence this virtual piece of paper was intended to capture the brilliant fleeting moments in my head...but by the time i reach the computer to document my idle cognitive waves they have been replaced by more practical ones...like my need to do laundry for lack of underwear.

human beings have an insatiable desire to create...to make sense of the unconscious tinkering that occurs almost in spite of ourselves. my need to document is a need to understand why the collective we document.

i would suspect intentionality might play a role, we intend to have a reader, we intend to pour out a few internal demons, we intend to entertain, we intend recognition, we intend to impress, well there is an infinity of reasons and most are saturated in selfish indulgences.

human desirability to create is a fundamental desire to understand oneself-yes, the eternal transcendence from flesh to soul.

this post will be edit or finished when i'm done doing my laundry

bendable mandibles

Rubber band whistle blowers bend easily into tightness when the tension demands attention.
Mandibles mashing molecular mushy mating...still i grow impatient.

...and when I'm alone I curse my cruelty. I curse the empty verses of my ill intentions for it's timidity of going too far. I curse the zip zag jabber walkie pelvic thrust-they only like the gimmick version of the reflection of the person I pretend to manifest when i fear human interaction...it's so easy to jump into the characters.

it's so hard when people get too deep...i don't like to let people get too close.

the virtual diary

So i am now attempting to transcend into the world of the public diary or better known as "blogging." Granted i started this blog about 3 months ago so technically it's not a new attempt in my part-rather a delayed fulfillment of something that should have been successfully correctly done...or something like that. Needless to say i'll buy into the whole internal monologue made open to all deal...as a matter of fact, who the hell am i talking to?

You may poke inside my head but i'll advise even I get tired of what goes on in there....okay that was a blatant lie...i love what goes on in my head. As a matter of fact-i'd rather stay in my head then interact in the outside world...who can blame me....there is magical flying unicorns shooting croquettas out of their asses and ice cream cones that grow off the backs of frogs and musical fart angels that accidentally "slip out" at awkward moments singing their hymns with perfect pitch-all kind of shit like that is constantly playing in my head...AND they are eager for me to join in on all the fun!

I'm looking forward to the day when technology has evolved to the point were i'd only have to THINK about something and some sort of nano electronic joy stick will record and document my thoughts. Soon all existing creatures' lives will be recorded and stored in a really really big thunb drive for generations to come. If i could i'd fuck with them as much as possible creating such bizarre moments that their heads will wobble! YAY

i'd have to say this isn't a very whimsical fist entry...i guess that's why i waited so long to write something straight from my noggin...we somehow stall ourselves from actually doing something by sugarcoating actions with failure...and well, who isn't afraid of failure (probably someone who has done stuff) mmmmmmmm so much brain morsels to shoot at you...enjoy i intend to do as often as i can ...lets say, as often as i poop!